it's happening. it's here.
& it's meant to be.
the weekend of november 3.2019
___
my heart ♥︎
the day it was introduced.
♡
the mountains know this day is special. the haze & dust settle carefully. making everything appear transparent. all is calm. the bees are busy. unmindful of the emotions flowing through my head. it's ok they can be busy. it's good to be busy i think. the tea out of this winsome teacup makes my heart feel warm. even if the tears continue. i haven't yet decided if i'm happy or sad. maybe just a smidge of both. not knowing what else to do while this sensational news sinks to the deepest corner of our hearts.... we drive. the mountains gently pushing us through the trees. the sun shining on the dust & the vibes quiet yet content. we know it's right. it's right that she would leave this fishburn ranch. to her new adobe. but we will miss her. beautiful soul full of laughter. this part of our life. these teenage years that we shared. & now it's over. my sister that i love & admire more then anyone will know. she's getting married to joel riley. he's the luckiest man i've ever met. & i wouldn't let any other man marry her. so thankyou joel. i hope u guys have a fun life.
_________________________
the days. from that day to this one.
some of them too hard to bare……
older sister should get married.
you watch her smile into his eyes.
the love so strong. soaring across mountains.
creating winds that are pushing your heart away.
& you know that's not true.
but that's how it feels.
throwing rocks at the barn wall.
running fast cutting your bare feet.
sobbing into shasta's fur.
the tears making dark spots on your dry skin.
she's growing up. she's leaving.
the love in your heart explodes. the rock in your throat doesn't budge. & as you watch them walk away hand in hand..
something rips your heart in half and your head hits the gravel.
he reaches .. touching the line going down the centre of your heart. trying to heal this wound.
he will succeed. this IS happy.
& the next day so happy. bubbling forth with genuine joy. love.
the miraculous joy that is able to come forth when u choose it. pushing negativity into the hole & filling it in with healthy dirt. turning sad tears into happy tears because you are blessed. you are blessed & you have those gifts that other people don't. racing through fields of colourful leaves and fall bouquets. the muscles of Gods horses rippling beneath this joy. this creature has the ability to make this moment count.
& realizing these.
she lifts her face & smiles @ him.
all of these feeling. words. boiling out if this wild heart wrapped in fragile.
& now she just wishes it was over.
yet the excitement of the coming days is strong.
new shoes lining the closet.
friends coming & all the love.
the planning over & now the week of waiting.
last minute touches.
she tells me it's ok to cry somtimes.
she tells me it's normal that i'm sad.
because i love her & she's leaving.
and that's the only sad thing in my whole life.
everything else is so happy.
the clouds scurry behind the mountains & all is calm.
this basement is getting awfully empty.
the snow blinds the mountains view. steamy breath & all is so still. the sound of singing. will this weekend be of this winter wonderland. we will love whatever it is.
time fades away so fast.
soon these days will be past.
so we need to make these moments last.
& when we are in them they do last.
these running through snow on my favourite horse cow day best ever moments. they last. so long that the warm house is the only thing you can think about. & the body slowly numbs & your tummy growls. but these moments are pure. & so good. these last couple days… till the wedding. this is a good way to spend them.
tomorrow will be a good day. & tomorrow that cowboy comes. to take her away.
the morning so dark.
sleepy eyes pull on yesterday's dirty jeans.
boss yells wich horses and you stumble to the barn & grabbing halters you secretly wish you could at least wait till the sun made the coralls a little brighter. definitely would make jingling the horses easier.
gearing up the beautifuls.
checking off all the medications into the cooler & finally grabbing that go cup & sitting in the warm truck. the big diesel motor humming & the warm air tempting you to lay your tired head back & sleep. just a few more minutes.....
the drive to the alberta ranch is long.
& to the east the sunrise.
to the west the mountains glow a soft pink.
equally reflecting the sunrise beauty.
ahhhhh. this land of alberta.
ahh. this cowboy life.
heart beats.
today that cowboy gets here. to take her away. ♥️
will these wedding days be snowy?
the most beautiful scene.
pink. mountains. wind stretched clouds.
best show ever for this cowboy. this cowboy that we are welcoming into our family. welcoming to fishburn.
a day in town. moments to remember. moments to be happy. rather then sad.
coffee shops and winter boots.
jenna picks fun bridesmaids.
shopping. smiles. happy chips and happy juice.
pedicures with happy sunshine.
i love you.
& then it's over. & thier gone.
that hiccup awkward. uncontrolled way of crying.
so many tears. swollen eyes. too many hugs.
pretty much the terriblest time.
but then the friends. the support. the love.
& the soft snow falls down & they drive away. and you kiss with red lips and throw rice & sparkels.
& you smile through those tears. you smile big.
but then you break. and people watch you with sad eyes cuz they know it hurts. but it's thier weekend not yours. may God bless thier hearts.
may the road rise to meet you.
may the wind be always @ your back.
may the sun shine warm upon your face.
& the rain fall soft upon your fields
until we meet again. may God hold you.
in the hollow of his hands.
& she cry's big tears.
the mountains are still watching. - ginger.
https://jessicashianne1.wixsite.com/gingerlyric
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