the flower fades

it seems like those days the world was yelling yes in one ear, and my heart was yelling no in the other.

that night. it needed to stop.

i witnessed too many people being sad.

to many friends leaving.

or going the wrong way.

tears rolled down my face. & i looked up. searching. for the stars he gave me.

there were none.

i felt lost.

i felt shallow.

i felt the waves were drowning my flame.

i thought of the boy i loved.

& i knew. i was not good enough.

if i kept living the life i was living.

he deserved better.

the thought broke me.

to be a humble christian.

i was hungry for it.

but if i was hungry...

why did the proud world always win?

couldn't i be a humble child anyways?

i cried to my God.

and he heard me.

my face lifted.

my heart felt light.

i was free.

i felt new.

inspired to be perfect.

longing to be a servant for that Jesus man.

a new life.

a fresh start.

i felt blessed.

now can we pray for all the rest.

the grass withers.

the flower fades.

but the word of our God will stand.

forever. Isaiah 40.8