nostalgia.
dripping like sweat.
hurting.
this is me missing fishburn ranch.
a blank white sheet of paper.
neatly glued magazine pictures...
in rows on this lonely page.
pictures of horses.
of ropes swinging.
of sun behind mountains.
a faded pair of levi jeans.
dirty footprints.
yesterday a group of 4 kids randomly stopped in.
they knew no one.
we didnt know them.
jaci and i took them up the rocks,
and they helped us with groceries.
we drank iced coffees.
we talked about people.
we just hung out like normal humans.
it was fun.
i wish more people were as chill as they were.
cause that was brave of them i thought.
i am held tightly in this hate love relationship.
cacti sink their teeth into my calloused feet,
the red sand and cement have made my skin smooth and dry.
i think my skin is getting tanned.. i cant remember how i looked when i came.
i am getting used to this.
every evening as i look to the west
above the rocks and the shelter of the buildings
the sunset stops my heart.
every evening painting our junky surroundings pink.
i watch the sky change.
i talk to God through the sky.
and often when im sitting at my desk,
the moon shines big through the window.
i know you can see that moon.
and so can God. we are not alone.
this morning my best ki woke me up.
and i happily went with her to drop the kids off at the bus stop.
they all gave us hugs. and then we watch thier black heads full of hair jump into that big yellow bus. when they leave for school that means we can breathe until 2:30 pm.
the air is cold.
the sky is pink with early sun.
and i am happy.
driving with ki through gallup new mexico in the early morning after dropping the big kids off is a pretty big feeling.
all there is to talk about is the insane views.
and the silly brown cheeked children.
and the stress.
and these girls. these FUN girls.
and the hilarious and nice house parents.
thankyou jesus.
the last three kids iv dealt with i have accidently got the giggles instead of crying.
that is a good sign. maybe you need to pray i can keep being serious.
ok.
bye.
xo.
jessi.
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