from land of broken hearts and lice
to you
she sits cross legged
on the faded carpet of the nursery
hey eyes are closed
the sun is beating through the open window
she can hear the birds
the vehicles rushing past on west jefferson
two small brown cheeked children are using her tired body as a jungle gym
their drool landing slowly on the already soiled dress
her eyes are still closed
soaking in the sun
the moment
slow motion chatter eases its way down the hall
an iced coffee and bran muffin lands on the counter
another thoughtful friend
and then the friend tells her
he is gone
too fast and no goodbye
my precious little boy
who held both her hands
and played weird things with her
his eyes so big
his skinny body struggling to grow
his long curly hair
gone
God hold his future
4 new little friends
they come with lice
and tears
and bruises
its her job to admit them
paper work check
lice check
baths
lotion
new clothes
hugs and kisses
dead skin falls off of tiny heads
this picture scribbles sadness
so much has changed in the last 2 weeks
kids switching
leaving
coming
girls leaving and coming
you fall in love
you let go
repeat
cause on this ranch horses come and go
its the way of life we can make it work
if you don't tie em up to your heart you know
(or something like that) {quoted from one of my mom's many amazing writings}
i bought a bow and arrow. and i didn't fit in my sisters trunk. and lane and chad didnt want it on their laps all the way back to center. so its under my bunk. so if anybody needs a good excuse to come on a road trip to Gallup you cud come pick up my bow.
my favorite jylberale came to see me on the 6th. shes truly the best. cause who drives 4 hours to see a friend for a tiny bit. jyl does.
the sun is hot. 15 minutes on the porch and your toasted. may it continue.
but no it didnt. it snows all the time. take me back to pincher creek.
we are attempting to potty train the 3 yearolds. its the funniest thing. all you moms can send us tips cuz obviously we need them.
this week im 1st nurce.
the smell of baby lotion and essential oils.
diaper genie.
the chubby bundles of brown skin look up at me
smiling big
eyes big
sometimes i wonder if thier the cutest things on this whole planet earth
the 3 month old has grown so much since i got here.
hes asleep
so perfect.
flawless baby
tired eyes close
the lullaby goes on and on
reflecting moving pictures on the ceiling
humidifier sends swirling mist
12:00 am
''jessi you have two admissions''
it comes across the radio clipped to my dress
the navajo social worker is leaning against the front desk
paper work
she leads me out into the night
the carseat is sitting backwards in the back seat if her car
and the tiny face that pears out at me
i catch my breath
another baby
5 months old and a literal mop of black hair
her grins up at me and grabs my finger
i fall in love instantly
we go through the whole routine
he doesnt have lice..
but his whole scalp is layered in dead skin
it comes off in clumps as i run the lice comb through
my body shivers
half an hour later he is clean and giggling at all the curious staff
his 1 year old sister is running around in circles
very hyper
at midnight
neither of them fall asleep until around 2
the next morning brianna and myself take them in for physical exams
hashtag welcome to mom life jessi
walking into the hospital with a backpack full of diapers
a carseat on one arm and phone and keys in the other
brianna follows with the most wiggly little girl ever
a tiny hospital room and a hyper child who you aren't allowed to discipline is truly a chore
pulling cords. pushing buttons
two and a half hours later both kiddos are sleeping
and bri and i are sweaty and tired
so on the way we detour around mcdonalds and buy icecream
because those type of detours are very neccessary
3 hours later the little honeys are packed up and gone.
so much for loving them.
they spent less then 24 hours with us.
a half day with cho.
mostly we drive around and talk about how life is gunna be.
and we get starbucks.
and sonic.
and we talk about the last time we were in starbucks.
which was in red deer.
with hannah. (ya that little freckled elf)
my heart.
anyways cho and me.
we walk to the ampitheater
we buy matching shirts that are 3xxxxxL mens or somthing
its ok we are normal
the sirons
endless sirons
screaming through the city
echoeing off the graffiti covered buildings
lights a blur on the highway
up our street
down our street
they never stop
we sit on the roof
counting the stars
shivering under navajo blankets
holding hands
speaking in tongues only gallup girls would understand
the cold evening air freezing our sweat
chasing the stress and thoughts of lice
down the beige tin and onto the red sand below
the alb boys come
we play ball
hard
maybe we play ball to get our thoughts out
or something
we play long into the night
the gym echoes loud
and then we eat cold steak and nachos
my little baby has a skin something
and then her little finger nails scatch
her back is bloody in the morning
she touches her skin and says owie
i love her
the los angeles unti sent us a valentines card.
it was boring tho all it said in it was.
keep up the good work.
and then something about it not being the average valentine.
thanks anaheim.
and now i sit here.
the present moment is like this.
sunday.
big slow snowflakes fall.
and thats all. i think i deserve an iced coffee.
I listened to my church in first nursery.
my babies slept.
and i cried.
i can pick out friends in the singing
i picture the cold
and the people hurrying into the little church
holding their jackets
and their bibles
and their miscellaneous deliveries
ok enough rambling for you.
i love you and miss you more then you will ever know.
but im SO happy here.
today is exactly 100 days left.
bye.
love ginger.
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