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squinted eyes. watching & waiting for a release. release from this restless feeling. tight heart. claws scratching against raw skin & the wind cold.  and crying out to this God. pleading. for that peace you had before. & the feeling of broken, tired, & exhausted sinking to the grass. giving it up & reaching to feel the clouds.       & suddenly realizing you are smiling. smiling up @ the clouds. the unmistakable peace & happiness. overflowing over the edge. & running through this white snow feeling this free feeling.

seek the Lord & his strength.

seek his face continuously.

the singing wafting to the slanted wooden ceiling. & the tears unstoppable.   emotions of feeling blessed & yet so weary. weary of missing your sister. weary of fighting these negative bullets. but blessed with this sermon that makes your heart beat. friends that squeeze your hand when you cry.    life will always bring hard times. & with them comes victory.